The Gr8s: Introducing Rustythelee’s NFL “Power Rankings”

 

In addition to being a lifelong sports junkie, I’m also somewhat stricken with OCD, in so far as I love things like lists, clean paper, and neatly closed-off systems. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always loved Top 10’s, “power rankings,” and the like: They’re crisp and neat, and they lend a sense of philosophical finality to the ever-subjective world of sports debate.

Accordingly, I shall henceforth provide my own humble thoughts — after each week’s NFL games have been played — as to which 8 teams are the best in The League, and why. (And, just to be annoying, I’ll count in reverse order. Maahhhh!)

8. Carolina Panthers (2-0)

The Panthers could easily win the award for 2-0 Team That Could Easily Be 0-2. In Week 1, Jake Delhomme and co. knocked off the always-the-sexy-pick Chargers — in San Diego — on the final play of the game. This past weekend, it was the Bears who were victims of Carolina’s last-minute heroics.

Despite the fact that the Panthers are 2-0, I’m not convinced (yet) of their for-real-ness. While Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams appear to provide a legit ground force, I’m still not (and never have been) sold on Delhomme as a premium QB. He’s average most of the time, and slightly above average some of the time. The result is that the Panthers end up being a poor man’s New England (pre-Moss): the solid defense and the grind-it-out style, but without the Brady, or the Belichick.

Anyhow, the Panthers allow almost as many points as they give up. Fortunately, though, they’re schedule is cake: They don’t have a truly “unwinnable”-type game till Week 13, when they travel to Lambeau. If they can continue to win the games they “should,” e.g. Falcons, Chiefs, Raiders, Lions, they’ll have no problem notching 10 or 11 wins in a weak division.

7. Buffalo Bills (2-0)

Chris Berman is probably salivating somewhere, bellowing beloved comments about wagon-circling, and so on. Trent Edwards (70% completion, 0 picks) and Marshawn Lynch (nice grill!) are proving to be a solid offensive duo.

The Bills play in a tough division — but at least the Pats are Brady-less, and the Jets looked only so-so this past weekend. Buffalo can win quite a few games in the first half — and they better, considering that their closing three games come at the Jets, at Denver, and against New England.

6. Green Bay Packers (2-0)

Brett who?! The Green Bay Packers, led by QB Aaron Rogers, suddenly look like the Favre-ian juggernauts of old. Rogers has a passer rating in excess of 117.0, and the defense has given up a bare-bones 6 first-half points in two games.

The Packers are certainly an interesting team. People quickly forget that they came within a few plays of potentially reaching the Super Bowl last year — and that the team, with players like Ryan Grant and Donald Driver, is pretty darned talented.

The Packers’ schedule is interesting: They have Dallas in this week’s Sunday-night headliner, and they host the Colts in mid-October. After a Week 8 bye, they face the Titans, Vikings, Bears, and Saints — with three of these four coming on the road. I’d say that Green Bay needs to be at least 5-2 going into the bye week; if not, they could easily find themselves middling around the .500 mark by the time the playoff chase rolls around.

5. Denver Broncos (2-0)

The Broncos get credit for edging out a huge divsion win early in the season. Regardless of the circumstances (i.e., the Cutler tuck/fumble), Denver managed to put the ball in the endzone when it mattered. Then, in a coaching masterstroke, Mike Shanahan summoned the ghost of Tom Osborne (shout-out to Dan Schmidt and his “Never play for the tie” theory!) and WENT FOR 2!!!

I was impressed by the bold call, and I was impressed by Jay Cutler.  The Broncos have found themselves an already-blooming field captain, who, with a more time, will get even better.  They’ve scored 80 points in two games, which puts them on pace to outscore last year’s super-stud Patriots.  (You know I love pointless stats!)

My only concern with the Broncos is their defense.  Despite scoring tons of points and having Cutlet go over 300 yards twice, they’ve surrendered 52 points in their two wins, allowing over 380 yards of offense per contest.  In a conference that features quite a few playoff-tested teams, the Broncos can ill afford to get into too many 70-point games.

Despite what many critics have said, I do think that Mike Shanahan is a very good football coach, which is why I have the Broncos placed at #5.  If they make it into the playoffs — and especially if they get home-field advantage — they’re more than capable of beating anyone in the AFC.

#4 New England Patriots (2-0)

Lest the un-Patriotic crowd start to grumble:

• They have a stellar defense.
• They’re coached by Bill Belichick.
• Randy Moss is extremely tall, and he can catch anything.

People tend to forget that the two of the Pats’ three Super Bowl wins were largely surprises.  No one expected them to beat the Rams, and in 2004, it was the 15-1 Pittsburgh Steelers who were widely supposed to be the NFL’s best team.  Even though New England went 14-2 in the regular season, many fans (including myself) were surprised to see them needle their way to a third Lombardi Trophy in four years.

As it goes, the Pats must surely feel a bitter taste in their mouths about last year, so don’t be surprised if they pull out a solid regular season.

Either way, we’ll know a lot in the next six weeks, which include the Pats facing off against Denver, San Diego, and the Colts, with two of these (SD and Indy) being on the road.

#3 Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0)

I like this guy.

I like this guy, too.

To me, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a greater sense of self-identity than any other team in the NFL.  They know who they are, they know what works, and they consistently deliver successful results.  With the black and gold, you know you’re going to get strong defense, solid play from Big Ben, and a heavy dose of running.   Thus far, the Steelers are surrendering just 220 yards per game, and Willie Parker is logging nearly 5 yards per carry (and has 3 TD’s).

The only thing working against Pittsburgh is their schedule: They still have AFC games remaining against Indy, SD, and (at) New England; and they also play the NFC East.  (Next week’s showdown with the same-state Eagles should prove important on the road to establishing an identity — for both teams.)

#2 Dallas Cowboys (2-0)

Blah.  Tony Romo.  Blah.  T.O. Blah.  Best team on paper.  Blah.  Due to go All The Way.

The Cowboys are very good — but am I convinced they’re going to win the Super Bowl?  No… because…

Well, #1: Their coach is Wade Phillips.

And, #2: I, the last remaining hold-out, have finally decided to give some credibility to…

#1 New York Giants (2-0)

Despite the fact that I live in New Orleans, only a couple of miles away from Newman, the uber-posh school that counts the Manning brothers as alumni… and despite the fact that I frequent Domilise’s, an old-school pro-Manning sandwich joint that serves the city’s best po-boys… it is a known fact that I, Rustythelee, HATE Eli Manning.  (I can’t even bring myself to link a picture of him.)

I hate Eli Manning, I hate Tom Coughlin, I hate the Giants.  I can’t believe that David Tyree made a poo-fluke catch and robbed the Patriots of a historic 19-0 season.  (I know — everyone hates the Pats!  Well, you know what?  I was rooting for them!)

I hate everything about the Giants… except for their red print and socks, which I think is pretty sharp.

I have to admit, though, after watching the entirety of their game against the (admittedly doggy-doo) St. Louis Rams: The Giants are good.  Really good.

Eli looks like a new person.  Brandon Jacobs can’t be tackled.  Plaxico is no longer Plexi-glass.  And Justin Tuck — I think the guy might be a mutant.

These New York “Football” Giants are outgaining opponents 2-1, and it appears as though losing Strahan and Osi hasn’t cost them much.

As much as it pains — PAINS — me, I’m going to predict that the Giants will once again represent the NFC in the Super Bowl.